Lose myself in there

I think I start to like daydreaming all day long, all alone. Just keep quiet, think about something great/good (that probably would never happen), and ta da! I completely lose myself in my thoughts. It's kind of fun but seriously it's really bothering me when I'm in a serious situation.

I actually have realized that I'm just too far from my lines. I start to expect something too much and also too high and yeah, it causes me a lot of serious pains to myself. It's killing me inside but I can't help it any longer. I begin to fall deeper and everything seems so perfect in there. I don't wanna stop because I believe that there's nothing more painful than the thing that is exactly happening in front of my eyes right now.

Sometimes I cry myself for help, it sounds I'm so overacting but then again that's the truth. I don't know what should I do, I don't know where should I go, I don't know who I am actually, I don't know how to react against everything that happens in my life, I don't know what's my goal. I really really don't know. I have no idea about anything and that makes me kinda afraid of what would happen later on. But I admit it too myself, I actually enjoy losing myself in my illusion even if I know it's difficult to become true.

---